youtubers love to say “i hope i’m pronouncing that correctly” while recording themselves in a video that they upload to the internet, which they have access to
and its close sibling, “I’m not even going to try to pronounce that one,” while covering a foreign culture in their video. Girlie, this is your job! Try at all at it!
I’m still reeling but I don’t think we’re talking about the second kiss enough.
The first kiss is a leap into the unknown, the culmination of something that’s been a long time coming, now with the added thrill of uncertainty of the not knowing, a dive into uncharted water hoping the other will be right behind you.
The second kiss though…
Laudna spends the first few seconds after Imogen kisses her talking herself down to her. Utterly convinced that she’s a monster, an abomination past the point of no return, fully expecting Imogen to take a step back once she knows the whole of it. Trying to convince her of it. Let her let her down easy (hah!). “I’m a bad person”, and Imogen does not even flinch.
And this is the thing: the smallest rebuttal from Imogen is all it takes, really. It’s simple, it’s decisive, it’s spoken as a holy truth revealed. “You’re not a bad person”, and Laudna clings to her for dear life.
The second kiss is an affirmation more than it is a confirmation. It’s a different kind of leap, both elated and desperate. It’s a prayer, a pleading, a gods please let me have this if for but a moment. Let me be what she believes I am. I love you. “I’m a bad person”. I don’t deserve this. I will destroy you. I love you, I love you, I love you.